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  1. #1
    CRO Senior Moderator Justa6's Avatar
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    Default Blond joke..or 3

    These are just stupidly funny! !

    HELLOOOOOOOOOOO !








    DISNEYLAND

    Two blondes were going to Disneyland ... They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went home.







    FLORIDA OR MOON

    Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'

    CAR
    TROUBLE

    A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
    mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

    She says, 'What's the story?'

    He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'

    She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

    SPEEDING
    TICKET

    A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

    She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
    Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

    RIVER
    WALK

    There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'

    The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

    AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

    A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

    'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'

    The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

    The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?

    'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'

    'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'

    KNITTING



    A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

    Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'

    'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

    BLONDE
    ON THE SUN

    A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

    The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'

    The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'

    The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

    'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.

    To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

    IN A
    VACUUM

    A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

    FINALLY,
    THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

    A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!

    ************************************************** ***



    Who thinks up these ??
    Always keep em smokin,,,,then let er drift!

  2. #2
    Hall of Fame Member john mastalerz's Avatar
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    Default

    Man, these are clever and funny. I love them!

  3. #3
    CRO Senior Moderator Gtdhw's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by john mastalerz View Post
    Man, these are clever and funny. I love them!
    ^^This.
    If winning was easy, then the losers would be winners.
    I wish I was the man my dog thinks I am.

  4. #4
    CRO Senior Moderator Justa6's Avatar
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    Default

    Most are old...couple new. Still make me laugh.
    Always keep em smokin,,,,then let er drift!

  5. #5
    CRO Senior Moderator Justa6's Avatar
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    Default

    A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad
    hailstorm.. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
    To a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
    decided to have some fun... He told her to go home and blow into the
    tail pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out.

    So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands & knees & started
    blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little
    harder, & still nothing happened.

    Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you doing?' The first
    blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the
    tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
    The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello!
    You need to roll up the windows first.'


    A blonde was shopping at Target &
    came across a shiny silver thermos.
    She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took
    it to the clerk to ask what it was.

    The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos.....
    It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.'

    'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing.....I'm going to buy it!'
    So she bought the thermos & took it to work the next day.

    Her boss saw it on her desk.
    'What's that,' he asked?

    'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot & cold things
    cold,' she replied..

    Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'

    The blond replied......
    'Two popsicles & some coffee.'

    +++++++++++++
    Always keep em smokin,,,,then let er drift!


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